Between What Was and What’s Next

There’s an uncomfortable space between what was and what comes next.

The old routine no longer fits, but the new one doesn’t feel familiar yet. It can be tempting to rush through that space—to figure out the plan, settle into the new routine and get everything back to “normal.”

But sometimes we don’t need to know the next step immediately.

That in-between space can be a place to pause, catch up with what has already changed and give ourselves a little time before figuring out what comes next.

Not knowing yet doesn’t mean you’re stuck.

Big Transitions… and the Sneaky Little Ones

When we think about transitions, we often think about the big stuff: starting a new job, moving, beginning or ending a relationship, meeting a new support person or dealing with changes in our health.

But transitions can be tiny, too.

An appointment gets moved. Someone cancels. Dinner plans change. The usual route is closed. The person you expected isn't there.

To someone else, it might seem like no big deal.

But our brains don't always agree.

A small change can still require us to stop, process new information and figure out a new plan. The size of the change doesn't always determine the size of the transition.

When Everyone Else Is Ready to Move On

Sometimes the world moves faster than we do.

For adults with FASD and other neurodivergent adults, it can take time to process what has changed, understand new expectations and become comfortable with unfamiliar people, places or routines.

Other people may already be talking about what's next while you're still trying to understand what just happened.

That's okay.

Needing more time doesn't mean you aren't moving forward. Sometimes your brain is doing a whole lot of work that nobody else can see.

Pausing is not the same as standing still.

What Do I Need Right Now?

When something changes, one of the most helpful questions might be:

What would make this easier?

Maybe you need someone to explain the plan again. Perhaps you'd rather have it written down. You might need to know exactly what will happen next, talk it through with someone you trust or keep part of your old routine while you adjust.

Or maybe you just need more time.

You don't have to handle every transition the same way, and you don't have to figure everything out on your own.

Sometimes knowing what you need is the next step.

There Is No “Right” Speed

Some people jump into change with both feet.

Some dip in a toe.

Some stand on the edge for a while thinking, Absolutely not. Who thought this was a good idea?

All perfectly human responses.

There is no correct speed for moving through a transition. You don't have to pretend you're comfortable before you are, and you don't need to know exactly where everything is heading.

That space between what was and what comes next may feel uncertain, but it can also give us room to breathe, regroup and begin again.

One step at a time still gets you somewhere.