In the Rearview

What We’ve Learned About Executive Functioning

For many years, behaviours linked to executive functioning were misunderstood.

Forgetting instructions.
Struggling to start tasks.
Difficulty with transitions.
Emotional blow-ups during small changes.

These were often seen as attitude problems, poor parenting, lack of motivation, or willful defiance.

Looking back, we know better.

Research and lived experience have helped us understand that executive functioning is a brain-based skill set — and that in FASD, these skills often work differently.

In the rearview, we can see patterns clearly:

• Repeated reminders didn’t mean someone wasn’t trying — it meant working memory was overloaded.

• Meltdowns during transitions weren’t manipulation — they were difficulty shifting gears.

• “Lazy” often meant task initiation felt neurologically overwhelming.

• “Not listening” sometimes meant information didn’t stick the first time.

When we look back at programs, schools, systems, and even our own expectations, we can see where misunderstanding created friction.

We can also see what worked.

Visual schedules.
Predictable routines.
One-step instructions.
Preparation before transitions.
Reducing sensory overload.

Reflection gives us clarity. It allows us to carry forward strategies that supported regulation and let go of approaches rooted in misinterpretation.

Looking back isn’t about regret. It’s about growth.

Executive functioning has taught us that support works best when it aligns with capacity. That insight shapes everything that comes next.

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A Small Morning, Revisited

It was a Tuesday morning. Shoes were missing. The backpack wasn’t packed. The bus was coming.

“Why didn’t you do this last night?”
“We’ve gone over this!”

Everyone was frustrated. Voices were raised. The morning started in chaos.

Looking back now, it’s easier to see what was happening.

Packing a backpack required planning ahead. Holding multiple steps in mind. Shifting from one task to another. Estimating time. Managing stress.

That wasn’t defiance.
That was executive functioning.

Nothing about that morning was about not caring. It was about capacity.

Today, that same morning looks different.

The backpack checklist lives on the wall.
Shoes have a designated spot.
The routine is written down, not just spoken.
Transitions are cued 10 minutes before they happen.

It isn’t perfect.
But it’s steadier.

Looking in the rearview doesn’t bring guilt — it brings understanding. And understanding changes how we move forward.