A Love Letter to Caregivers

If no one has told you lately, let’s start here:

You’re doing a really good job.

And if your immediate response is, “I don’t know about that…” — congratulations, you’re officially a caregiver.

The holidays are hard.
Not “busy but fun” hard — neurologically, emotionally, logistically hard.

For caregivers of neurodiverse individuals, the season isn’t just louder and brighter — it’s more unpredictable, more demanding, and often more invisible to the people around you. While others are leaning into sparkle, you’re scanning for exits, managing regulation, anticipating meltdowns, translating expectations, and quietly holding the whole thing together.

That work matters.
And so do you.

This season isn’t a test of how much you can endure. It’s a reminder that caregiving requires care — including for the person doing the caregiving.

✨ One thing to remember

You are not failing. The holidays are hard because they are hard.

More sensory input.
More social demands.
More schedule changes.
More expectations — often unspoken.

Neurodiverse brains process all of that differently, which means you are doing extra work behind the scenes to keep things steady. That effort doesn’t always show up in photos or thank-you speeches — but it is real, skilled, and deeply important.

If things feel harder than usual, it’s not because you’re doing something wrong.

It’s because you’re doing a lot.

✨ One thing to release

Release the idea that you need to “push through” to earn the holiday.

You do not owe:

• longer stays

• fuller schedules

• louder celebrations

• perfectly regulated children

• or a cheerful explanation for why you’re leaving early

You are allowed to choose regulation over tradition, connection over performance, and rest over appearances.

The holidays are not a measure of your strength.
They are not a reflection of your gratitude.
They are not proof of your worth.

Let go of the pressure to make it look magical.
You’re already making it safe — and that’s far more meaningful.

✨ One thing that might help today

Check in with yourself — not just your plan.

Caregivers are exceptional at tracking everyone else’s needs while quietly ignoring their own. Today, try one small act of self-inclusion:

• Step outside for fresh air before you hit your limit

• Sit instead of standing “just one more minute”

• Drink something warm before it goes cold (again)

• Say no to one thing without explaining it

• Ask for help — even if it feels awkward

You don’t need a full reset.
You just need a moment where you are also considered.

Because when caregivers are supported — even gently — everyone benefits.

A final note...

If the holidays feel less like a snow globe and more like a juggling act with fragile ornaments — you’re not alone.

You are thoughtful.
You are resilient.
You are doing invisible work with visible impact.

The sparkle will fade.
The memories won’t.

And neither will the care, love, and steadiness you bring — even on the hard days.

✨ You’re doing better than you think. Keep going. ✨