Holiday Food Fog

Why holiday meals feel overwhelming — even when the food looks delicious.

Holiday meals get all the glory — the centerpiece spreads, the passed-down recipes, the “you’ve got to try this” pressure from every direction. But for many neurodiverse individuals (and, let’s be honest, a few of us grown-ups too), those same festive feasts can feel like sensory boot camp in a sparkly disguise.

It’s not about being picky or ungrateful — it’s about the brain trying to navigate a plate full of unpredictable textures, smells, and expectations all at once. What looks like “holiday cheer” to one person might feel like a sensory overload buffet to another.

It’s not picky eating — it’s sensory survival served with a side of gravy.

✨ One thing to remember

Holiday meals are NOT normal meals.

They come with:
• New smells
• New textures
• New flavours
• New temperatures
• New visuals (big platters, mixed foods, sauces touching other foods 😬)
• Loud environments
• Lots of people watching
• Pressure to “eat what’s on your plate”
• Multiple conversations happening at once
• Excitement + unpredictability + noise

For neurodiverse individuals and those with FASD, eating is not just eating — it is multi-sensory processing.

And holidays amplify every single input:

Mashed potatoes? Change in texture.
Turkey? Different smell + harder to chew.
Gravy? A sensory risk if it touches the “wrong” thing.
Stuffing? A mashup of textures and flavours.
Veggies? Unfamiliar seasoning.
Desserts? Sugar + temperature change.

This is not picky eating.
This is sensory triage.

When the nervous system is already overloaded from the sparkle of the day, the brain can’t handle extra complexity on the plate.

Holiday meals feel like a test —
and that test drains regulation FAST.

✨ One thing to release

Release the idea that “special holiday meals” must be eaten by everyone.

Let go of:
• “At least take a bite.”
• “Try everything on your plate.”
• “Be respectful.”
• “This is your favourite — just eat it!”
• “You need a real meal before dessert.”
• “It’s tradition.”
• “We only make this once a year.”

This pressure does not create joy.
It creates shame, dysregulation, and overwhelm — and it often backfires into a meltdown, shutdown, or complete refusal.

Food is not a moral event.
And eating is not proof of gratitude.

If a person needs safe foods during a holiday meal, that is not disrespect.
It’s regulation.

✨ One thing that may help today

Build a Safe Holiday Plate — their version of comfort.

Ideas:
✅ Identify 2–3 safe foods (mac & cheese, nuggets, bread, crackers, cereal, fruit, whatever works)
✅ Bring their safe foods with you — always
✅ Serve safe foods on a separate plate
✅ Let them eat before the event if mealtime will be overwhelming
✅ Offer “plate choices,” not “first bites” (blue plate or red? small scoop or big?)
✅ Keep food portions small to reduce visual overwhelm
✅ Accept that mixing foods may be a “no” (and that’s okay)
✅ Allow them to leave the table early
✅ Avoid commenting on what or how much they’re eating

A regulated nervous system is much more important than a picture-perfect plate.

Holiday joy doesn’t come from food.
It comes from connection — and that connection is strongest when everyone feels safe, supported, and honoured as they are.