Silent Night, Chaotic Brain

Why sleep gets messy during the holidays — and what you can do about it.

There’s something about the holidays that makes bedtime feel like an Olympic event. You dim the lights, cue the calm, and five minutes later — someone’s spinning like a sugared-up philosopher, asking deep questions about Santa, snow, or the meaning of life.

It’s not willpower. It’s wiring.
All that holiday sparkle doesn’t switch off when the lights do — it hums quietly in the background, running on leftover excitement, sugar, and “what if tomorrow is different?” energy. The body might be in bed, but the brain is still at the party.

The lights may be off, but the nervous system’s still singing carols.

✨ One thing to remember

Holiday excitement doesn’t turn off just because the lights do.

During the day, the nervous system is taking in everything:
• Extra sugar
• Extra excitement
• Extra noise
• Extra people
• Extra transitions
• Extra stimulation
• Extra unpredictability
• Extra emotions

That energy doesn’t disappear at bedtime —
it follows them into the dark.

For neurodiverse individuals and those with FASD, all that sensory load gets stored in the body like static electricity. By nighttime, the brain is still processing:

“What happened today?”
“What’s happening tomorrow?”
“Did I do okay?”
“Why was everything so loud?”
“What if it’s different again tomorrow?”
“What if I don’t sleep?”

Their brain looks quiet from the outside,
but inside it’s a snow globe someone won’t stop shaking.

It’s not defiance.
It’s not “bad habits.”
It’s not manipulation.

It’s their nervous system still working —
long after they want it to stop.

✨ One thing to release

Release the expectation that holiday bedtime will look the same as bedtime in calmer seasons.

Let go of:
• “They should be tired — why aren’t they asleep?”
• “It’s late, this shouldn’t be happening.”
• “We’ve already done their routine!”
• “They should be able to settle by now.”
• “This happens every year — shouldn’t it be better?”

Overstimulation delays sleep.
Excitement delays sleep.
Changes in routine delay sleep.
Worry about the next day delays sleep.
Sugar delays sleep.

None of this is personal.
None of this is your fault.
None of this means you aren’t doing enough.

Holiday sleep changes because holiday everything changes.

✨ One thing that may help today

Create a Decompression Bridge between daytime and bedtime.

Sleep can’t happen if the nervous system is still buzzing —
so instead of going straight from excitement to bed,
build a gentle “downshift” routine.

Try a 20–40 minute bridge with:
✅ Dim lights
✅ Warm bath or shower
✅ Weighted blanket or lap pad
✅ Slow rocking or deep-pressure hugs
✅ Quiet, predictable activities (colouring, sorting, reading)
✅ Slow breathing together
✅ Stretching or gentle movement
✅ White noise or soft music
✅ A “tomorrow plan” so they don’t worry overnight

The goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is reducing sensory leftovers so the brain can finally settle.

A calmer bedtime tonight means a softer morning tomorrow —
and that’s a gift for everyone.