A Note for Siblings

(For anyone who loves a neurodiverse brother, sister, or family member — including individuals with FASD)

Let’s start gently:
You matter here.

Not because you’re helpful.
Not because you’re patient.
Not because you “handle things well.”
You matter because you’re you.

Sometimes, being a sibling in a neurodiverse family means living in a household where support, time, appointments, and emotional energy are unevenly distributed — not by choice, but by need. That can create a quiet kind of pressure. A pressure siblings often carry without words.

If that feels familiar, you’re not alone.

💛 One thing to remember

If it ever seems like most of the attention goes to someone else, it doesn’t mean you’ve been forgotten.
It doesn’t mean your needs rank lower.
It doesn’t mean love is uneven — it means support looks different for different brains.

And you shouldn’t have to pretend that’s always easy.

Wanting time, connection, reassurance, or attention doesn’t make you selfish — it makes you human.

💛 One thing to honor today

Your feelings — all of them.
The warm ones.
The messy ones.
The confusing “How can I love someone so deeply and still feel overwhelmed sometimes?” ones.

That’s not weakness — that’s emotional honesty.

You’re allowed to feel proud one minute and tired the next.
You’re allowed to love your sibling and wish things were simpler.
You’re allowed to want space without guilt.

Two emotional truths can exist side by side.

💛 One thing that might help

You deserve support, too — not just silently.

That could sound like:

• “Could we spend time together later?”

• “Can I talk about what I’m feeling?”

• “I’m having a hard moment.”

Those aren’t demands.
They’re invitations.

Families work better when everyone’s needs are seen — including yours.

💛 A few gentle reminders

• You are more than a helper.

• You are more than the “easy one.”

• Your identity is not built from what you don’t need.

• You deserve rest, attention, and care — without earning it.

If a small voice in your head has ever whispered:

“I’m fine… but also, a snack, a nap, and a hug wouldn’t hurt?”

That’s not attitude — that’s self-awareness.

💛 One last thing

You’re navigating a family story with extra complexity, extra coordination, and extra heart. That takes strength — the quiet kind most people never see.

You are not invisible.
You are not an afterthought.

Your needs count.
Your voice matters.
And support belongs to you, too.

We see you.
We appreciate all the unseen emotional labor.
And yes — we are here. 💚