Holiday Social Hangovers Are Real — And They Start Before the Party Ends

You know that quiet moment in the car after a party — when nobody’s talking, everyone’s exhausted, and even the good memories feel heavy? That’s not just being tired. That’s a social hangover — the kind that sneaks up before the night’s even over.

Because here’s the thing: joy is still effort. Every smile, every conversation, every sensory detail adds up. For some brains, the cost of connection shows up early — long before the last goodbye.

It’s not “anti-social” — it’s “emotionally jet-lagged from being charming.”

✨ One thing to remember

Being around people — even wonderful people we love — takes work for the nervous system.

There’s noise.
There are conversations to follow.
There are smells, lights, expectations, unspoken rules, and constant micro-decisions.
There’s laughter, excitement, movement, music, and unfamiliar routines.

For neurodiverse individuals and those with FASD, that’s not “background.”
That’s input — constant, layered, non-stop input.

And here’s the part most people miss:
Social hangovers start before the event even ends.

You’ll often see:
• Slower responses
• Eyes glazing over
• Clinginess
• Irritability
• Hiding in a bedroom or bathroom
• Refusing to talk
• Suddenly “done”
• Tears that come out of nowhere
• Asking to go home NOW

This isn’t rudeness or bad manners.
It’s the nervous system hitting its saturation point.

✨ One thing to release

Release the idea that leaving early means “they didn’t behave” or “you didn’t try hard enough.”

Leaving early isn’t a failure.
It’s preservation.

It’s parenting with the end of the day in mind.
It’s supporting the whole human, not the holiday snapshot.
It’s choosing regulation over expectations.

And if your child/teen/adult needs to step outside, sit in the car, take a walk, or decompress in a quiet room?
That’s not giving up —
that’s listening.

Release the guilt around choosing peace over pressure.

✨ One thing that may help today

Build in buffer time — both before and after social events.

Before:
• Keep things slow and predictable
• Avoid extra errands
• Use low lighting and quiet activities
• Offer choices to give them a sense of control
• Avoid sugar beforehand (if possible!)

After:
• Dim lights when you get home
• Offer a bath, bed, or cozy activity
• Don’t ask questions right away
• Keep conversations soft and short
• Have comfort items ready
• Expect a decompression window

Think of it like this:
If you had just run a marathon, nobody would expect you to leap into a new activity the second you crossed the finish line.

Holiday social events are marathons — only the medals are cookies and overstimulation.

Give the nervous system a place to land gently.
It’s one of the kindest gifts you can give.