Why “Just Try It” Doesn’t Work During the Holidays

Food, photos, outfits, new traditions — it’s a lot.

The holidays are full of well-meaning nudges — “just try it,” “just wear it,” “just one bite,” or “just be polite.”
But for someone whose nervous system is already doing overtime, those little “justs” can feel like big, flashing demands.
When everything around you is new, loud, bright, and unpredictable, “just try it” doesn’t sound encouraging — it sounds like pressure.
And pressure is the enemy of regulation.

We’re not avoiding growth — we’re protecting capacity.

✨ One thing to remember

During the holidays, there are so many new things being thrown at the nervous system at once:

New foods.
New smells.
New textures.
New clothes.
New routines.
New people.
New expectations.

And when a brain is already working overtime just to manage the sensory and emotional load of the season, anything unfamiliar can feel like an ambush.

So when we gently say,
“Just try it!”
“Just wear it!”
“Just smile!”
“Just one more photo!”
“Just give them a hug!”

What the nervous system hears is:
“Push past your limits when you already feel overwhelmed.”

For neurodiverse individuals and those with FASD, “just try it” isn’t a nudge — it’s pressure. And pressure spikes stress, not confidence.

Trying something new requires capacity…
and holidays drain capacity fast.

✨ One thing to release

Release the belief that refusing new things means they’re being defiant, rude, stubborn, or “difficult.”

It’s not attitude.
It’s self-protection.

When everything around them feels big, sparkly, loud, or unpredictable, new demands can feel like the last brick on an already overloaded stack.

Some things to let go of:
• The idea that holiday meals must include “at least one new thing”
• The pressure to wear specific clothing
• The expectation to pose for “just one picture”
• Forced hugs, handshakes, or social greetings
• The belief that they’re capable of flexibility just because it’s a special day

You’re not “giving in.”
You’re responding to the nervous system you actually have — not the one Hallmark movies pretend exists.

✨ One thing that may help today

Offer parallel choices, not pressure.

Instead of:
“Just try this food.”
Try:
“Would you like your safe food on the blue plate or the white plate?”

Instead of:
“Just wear this.”
Try:
“These two comfy outfits both work — which one feels better?”

Instead of:
“Just smile for one photo.”
Try:
“Want a silly-face picture or a candid one while you play?”

Instead of:
“Just say hi.”
Try:
“Would you like to wave, high-five, or say hello from over here?”

Parallel choices reduce emotional load, protect dignity, and give a sense of control in moments when everything else feels unpredictable.

During the holidays, “choice” is regulation magic.